Maarlburro Man

 (Scene opens in the middle of a vast desert landscape, golden light stretching across the horizon. A lone cowboy on horseback approaches from stage left, dust kicking up behind him. Center stage, Maarlburro Man rides in slowly on his sturdy burro, wearing a tutu decorated with pelicans, a loud Hawaiian shirt, and a fanny pack that’s suspiciously overstuffed.)

Cowboy (leaning on his saddle horn): "Got a light?"

Maarlburro Man (adjusting his fanny pack and taking a slow sip from his tea glass): "I don’t smoke insulation any longer."

(A long pause. The wind whistles.)

Cowboy (blinking): "...Huh."

Maarlburro Man (tilting his head, peering over his tea glass): "You ever wonder what nicotine looks like under a microscope?"

Cowboy: "Can’t say I have."

Maarlburro Man (nods solemnly, taking another sip): "Looks like a tangled rope. Just like the one you’re holdin’ in your hands."

(The cowboy looks down at his coiled lasso, then back up at Maarlburro Man, who has already turned his burro around and is slowly trotting off into the distance. His tutu ruffles slightly in the desert breeze. The faint sound of steel drums plays in the distance, from where? No one knows.)

Cowboy (scratching his head): "...I don’t know what just happened."

(Fixed Face Man randomly wanders through the background, shaking his head up and down as he exits stage right.)

(Lights fade. Scene transition.)