(Scene opens in a grand debate hall, banners of red, white, and blue hanging everywhere. On stage, JACKASS stands proudly at the podium, while ELEPHANT is trying to discreetly scurry away from a tiny MOUSE that has wandered onto the stage.)
JACKASS: (braying confidently) Let’s get one thing straight! I’m not fat! I don’t have some long, ugly nose flopping around! And I’m not old and wrinkled like some prehistoric artifact!
ELEPHANT: (delicately tiptoeing away from MOUSE, shuddering) And yet, despite all that, you have the mouth of a foghorn and ears that look like someone glued satellite dishes to your head.
JACKASS: (huffing) At least my mouth gets things done! Unlike yours, which just trumpets nonsense while flapping those ridiculous giant ears like a wind turbine!
ELEPHANT: (mock insulted) I’ll have you know my ears help me stay cool, unlike you, who stays hot under the collar because you have zero control over your temper.
JACKASS: Oh, that’s rich coming from someone who panics over a tiny—wait… are you actually scared of that little thing? (points to MOUSE)
ELEPHANT: (clears throat, pretending to be dignified) I am not scared. I am simply being strategic in my retreat! Unlike you, who blindly charges into everything headfirst!
JACKASS: (laughs) That’s because I have the backbone to fight! You just stomp around and make a mess!
ELEPHANT: (offended) A mess?! I am known for my wisdom and strength! My memory alone surpasses your ability to make up facts on the fly!
JACKASS: Oh sure, you remember things. Like that time you promised to clean up but just left an even bigger pile behind!
ELEPHANT: And you? You just kick everything down the road and act like it’s progress!
JACKASS: At least I keep moving forward! You just stand there, blocking the path, refusing to budge!
(MOUSE scurries closer. ELEPHANT gasps and climbs on top of the podium, much to the audience’s delight.)
ELEPHANT: (nervously) This debate is over! I refuse to engage with such… vermin!
JACKASS: (smirking) Oh, you mean me or the mouse?
ELEPHANT: (pointing dramatically at MOUSE) That! (then glares at JACKASS) Though the distinction is getting blurry.
(MOUSE sniffs the air, unimpressed, and scurries off. ELEPHANT breathes a sigh of relief and steps down. JACKASS smirks.)
JACKASS: (grinning) Guess we found your weak spot. Next time, bring some courage with that memory!
ELEPHANT: (dusts off) And next time, bring some dignity with that stubbornness.
(Both glare at each other. A bell rings, signaling the end of the debate. They both turn and wave to the crowd, putting on big, fake smiles.)
(Curtain falls.)
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